


Black to red and now pink

by Ozeddie



Category: half life but the ai is self aware
Genre: Angst, Angst to Fluff, Fluff, Gay, Gordon/Benrey - Freeform, HLVRAI, M/M, fenrey, fluff ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25257874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ozeddie/pseuds/Ozeddie
Summary: Dr. Coomer and Bubby throw a party at their new house. Stuff goes bad when Gordon yells at Benrey, but Tommy fixes it because he’s a good friend. I can’t summarize, sorry.
Relationships: Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Darnold/ Tommy, gordon freeman/benrey
Comments: 5
Kudos: 123





	Black to red and now pink

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is kinda experimental and is probably bad, I’m sorry. (It’s not all in order)

The sun was setting and people gathered as the hot New Mexico day slowly turned to chilled night. The smell of chlorine filled the air. Sunkist was swimming in the pool, making friends with Coomer and Bubby’s various acquaintances. Benrey leaned against the wall of the house. Tommy stood beside him, rambling something about beyblades. Benrey tried to pay attention, but something, or rather someone else currently occupied his mind. On the other side of the deck, a deck attached to the newly bought residence of Bubby and Coomer, was one Gordon Freeman. They were at a party held by the elderly newlyweds. Most people were currently gathered on the deck of the backyard, which was lined with railing, hung with sparkling fairy lights. Benrey thought Gordon looked pretty among those sparkling lights.  
Benrey started thinking of things he could say to him. He needed to open the conversation well. This was the first time he and Gordon would talk after what happened at the robberies, after all. Benrey would have made a joke to himself about how it seemed like Gordon was actively avoiding him, had he not feared that was actually what was happening. That’s why this conversation was so important. Benrey has to prove to himself that Gordon, his good friend Gordon, wasn’t ignoring him.  
He walked over to the man.  
“Yo, Feetman.” Yes, that was perfect Benrey thought.  
Gordon went stiff when he heard the former Black Mesa guard’s voice. Oh no, that wasn’t perfect! Gordon didn’t lift his head from his phone, but Benrey didn’t need to see the man’s expression to know that it was one of anger and deep annoyance. He could hear it in Gordon’s voice. And that made his heart sink just a little bit.  
“Nothing, bro… you playing app games” Benrey pointed to the phone in Gordon’s hand, and he didn’t miss the way his hands tightened around it.  
“No. I’m saying goodnight to my son.” Gordon sighed.  
“Your son has a phone? He’s like a fetus or something!”  
For some reason that was the breaking point. Gordon slammed his phone on the wooden railing beside him. A couple other party-goers around them flinched. But neither of them noticed, with so much of their focus on the other. Gordon glared at Benrey. His eyebrow twitched.  
“No, Benrey. My son does not, in fact, have a phone. I am texting him through his mother’s phone. Because I can’t say goodnight to him personally, because he lives a state away from me. Is that what you wanted to hear, Benrey?” Each word had been stressed, but none as much as Benrey’s name. Benrey swallowed as he tried to find his voice. His hands twitched. Ok, Benrey, don’t say something stupid now because you’re nervous. What you say next has to make Gordon happy, so you guys can be happy friends again. So you guys can be happy friends, and play PlayStation plus. Here goes.  
“Wuh? No, bro. Uuuhhhhhh, PlayStation plus?” Fuck. Shit. Benrey said that. Gordon’s not going to like that.  
“What?” Benrey was so embarrassed he hadn’t noticed Gordon’s anger had turned to confusion.  
“Nvm, bro” Benrey looked down, but his voice never left a monotone state. And walked away. Gordon would have thought about how Benrey said the letters “nvm” instead of the word “never mind”, if he didn’t see what he saw next. As Benrey moved out of his direct view, he revealed Tommy. Looking at them from across the deck. He looked… disappointed. He looked sad. And Gordon might have imagined it, or at least he convinced himself he did, but he thought he saw a twinge of anger in Tommy’s brow, when their eyes met. And Gordon knew he’d fucked up as Tommy approached him.  
———————————-  
It didn’t take Benrey long to find the bathroom, it wasn’t far from the doors to the backyard. He quickly made it inside the small room and locked the door. His hands gripped porcelain as he let the water run. He stared at himself in the mirror for a couple seconds. He felt so many things but his face held none of them. To someone else he’d look emotionless. He didn’t like that. He quickly took of his beanie and stuffed it in his sweater pocket. Filled his hands with cold water. And splashed it in his face. He was very stressed, and it was no surprise to him when he found that sweet voice escaped every time he opened his mouth. Ebony black sweetvoice filled the room, and Benrey watched knowingly as it slowly turned to a bright red. When he was done, and there was no sweet voice left, he sorta just stood there for a few minutes. It wasn’t fading, there was too much, and standing around it, surrounded by a visual representation of how he felt, wasn’t making him feel any better. He hoped there’d be no one outside as he turned the handle.  
Benrey’s eyes went wide as he was met with Tommy’s concentrated face. Benrey wasn’t able to stop him shoving his way into the bathroom, and when saw the sweetvoice Tommy audibly gasped. They stood there together in silence for a while. Benrey didn’t move until he heard a small sniffle. He went to put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, but the man stopped him. He turned around quickly enough for Benrey to miss his face. Benrey didn’t want to see how sad Tommy must look right now.  
Tommy looked to Benrey. He hadn’t been crying but his eyes were watering a little. Tommy put his hands on Benrey’s shoulder, an action that startled Benrey. Benrey stiffened as Tommy quickly pulled him into a tight hug.  
“It’s ok Benrey” and with those soft words Benrey turned to putty. His arms wrapped around Tommy and he buried his face in the man’s shoulder. Tommy rubbed his back. Benrey hadn’t realized how good hugs were. He’d jokingly asked for hugs before, but he can’t recal ever actually getting one. Benrey pulled away.  
“Thank you Tommy. You’re a good bro. Epic bro, man.” Tommy smiled at Benrey’s praise.  
“Hey Benrey. I just want you to know. That what I saw in there, he gestured towards the bathroom. That’s not true. I had a talk with Gordon. And he doesn’t think it’s true either. You should talk to him when you’re comfortable” Tommy was speaking fast, smiling, he thought the whole situation was solved. Benrey nodded along, he’d let his friend think that. But in reality Benrey didn’t believe a word he was saying.  
———————————-  
Tommy watched the scene unfold in front of him. He had internally cringed as soon as Benrey started to approach Gordon. Tommy prepared himself for what was to come. And as expected Gordon yelled at Benrey, which no doubt hurt Benrey, even if the ex guard didn’t show it. Tommy had spent so many long nights listening to Benrey ramble on and on about the man who was, at the moment, completely chewing him out. Knowing that made Tommy feel so fucking sad. Sadder than a puppy who broke all his toys, the man thought. Benrey walked into the house with his head down. That made Tommy angry. That made Tommy fucking furious. So furious he couldn’t think of any comparison for how he felt.  
His eyes met Gordon’s. And Tommy tried to hold back his rage as he approached the man.  
Tommy reached Gordon, and without a word grabbed his t-shirt, and pulled Gordon with him. He took that man off the deck, and dragged him into some bushes, where they could talk in private.  
Tommy opened his mouth to tell Gordon how disappointed he was, but stopped when he was what looked like fear in Gordon’s eyes. Fuck. Tommy didn’t want to scare Gordon. He was just angry and acted out bec- oh fuck. Tommy was doing exactly what Gordon did, and he was about to make Gordon feel bad for his actions? No. That wasn’t right.  
Tommy took in a deep breath.  
“Gordon?”  
Gordon nodded.  
“I know you have some problems with Benrey”  
Gordon nodded again, but this one was almost hesitant.  
“But I need you to be nicer to him. I know it’s hard to tell sometimes, but I think you really hurt him back there.” Tommy breathed in. He didn’t know how to continue this. He’d pinky promised not to tell Gordon that Benrey liked him. How was he supposed to go about this?  
“Tommy?” Gordon said after a long silence. His voice was small, but inquiring.  
“Yeah, Gordon?” Tommy sighed. Gordon didn’t really have anything to say, he just wanted the silence to stop. Tommy seemed to understand this, and continued on his own.  
“Gordon, don’t tell Benrey I told you this, but he really likes you. I don’t expect you to like him back, god knows he doesn’t.” Tommy stopped as he remembered all the times Benrey had almost cried to Tommy about how much Benrey thought Gordon hated him. “But he nee- I need you to be kinder to him.”  
“...” Gordon was silent. Tommy couldn’t look away, he was scared that he’d given away Benrey’s little secret, and assuming Gordon’s reaction wasn’t good, the guilt was starting to set in.  
“He actually likes me? All that stuff wasn’t just a joke?” Gordon asked. When Tommy finally looked at the scientist’s face he realized that Gordon wasn’t angry. Maybe more confused, and mildly shocked.  
Tommy nodded. And it became his turn to be shocked when Gordon pulled him into a hug, patting his back.  
“Thanks for telling me. I’ll make sure to apologize to him” Gordon paused. “Can you go check on him for me? I think he went in the house.” Tommy nodded, flashed a smile, and ran out of the bushes.  
———————————-  
The party had settled down and most people had gone home. The only ones left now were the science team, or extended science team. Gordon didn’t know if Darnold was part of the team. But he was there, and he was cuddling Tommy on the couch across from him. Beside them sat Benrey, who was playing with his psp, and desperately avoiding looking at Gordon. Gordon noticed this, but decided to ignore it. He wanted to apologize to the man, but he didn’t want to do it in front of the others.  
Gordon got up, and walked to the gaming man in front of him.  
“Hey can I talk to you… privately?” Gordon asked, rather awkwardly. Benrey quickly shot up at these words, leaving the psp on the couch. He almost head bumped Gordon, but quickly dodged.  
“Gotta go shit n’ piss or something.” Benrey stammered out, and ran up the stairs… he ran up the stairs past a bathroom. Benrey obviously was doing something else. Gordon’s heart sank as he realized Benrey was getting away from him, and nothing more. That’s ok. He wouldn’t force Benrey to talk to him. But why did this hurt so much?  
———————————-  
It had been about an hour now, and Benrey still hadn’t come downstairs. It was obvious to everyone around him that Gordon was working. His leg had a small shake, and he kept looking at the stairs, every two minutes. His worry seemed to rub off on Tommy, who’s propeller hat seemed to respond with him, as it span. It was when the nail-biting started that Bubby started to snap a little.  
“Go check on him if you’re so worried! You dumbass!” Bubby yelled at Gordon, who had jumped a little at the noise.  
“I’m not worried about him” Gordon said, but his actions betrayed his words as he went to go up the stairs. He heard a faint noise that suspiciously sounded like “whatever Gaydon Freeman” in Bubby’s voice, but it didn’t matter. He was already halfway up the stairs.  
Gordon got up the stairs and found that all the doors were closed, he went through each room, one by one. But they were all empty. Gordon almost started hyperventilating. Where the fuck was Benrey? Where the fuck was Benrey- Gordon’s thoughts were interrupted by a music note, and a bright light. Fuck yeah! Sweetvoice!  
The sweetvoice was coming from an open window… that lead to the rooftop. Benrey was sitting on the roof. Gordon had developed a bit of a fear of heights, well really a fear of everything, since black mesa. But for the sake of apologizing to Benrey, Gordon said “fuck it. Roof time.”  
Benrey was seemingly startled as Gordon climbed out onto the roof. He quickly turned away and tried to gather the sweetvoice, hiding it in his arms.  
“Benrey, are you ok?” There was no response. Gordon slid closer to him. He could see the colour of the sweetvoice now.  
“Black to red. What does that mean?” Still no answer. Gordon scooted even closer.  
“I’m sorry.” Benrey looked to him now. Gordon, however, suddenly found interest in his own hands. “For yelling at you earlier. I didn’t mean to get so angry” Benrey gave him a skeptical look. Gordon got even closer.  
“I really am sorry, Benrey. And I don’t hate you, if that’s what you think. I get mad at you sometimes. And maybe I did hate you at one point.” Gordon decided to be completely honest. “But I definitely don’t anymore.”  
“Really?” Benrey’s voice was a bit shaky, but full of hope.  
“Yeah” Gordon said as he let Benrey lean on his shoulder.  
———————————-  
Tommy wanted to say goodbye to Benrey and Gordon before him and Sunkist went home. He walked upstairs, it didn’t take him long to find a trail of pink sweetvoice and follow it. The trail lead to an open window where two men could be found leaning on each other, and in the dark Tommy could have sworn he saw them holding hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :))


End file.
